• Are you wandering the night with insomnia like a Vampire?
• Or maybe dragging around a bum shoulder or dead leg around like a Zombie?
• Does a Secret Government Biohazard Team need to cordon off the bathroom when your IBS acts up?
• Perhaps your Brain Fog leaves you feeling like a half dazed Ghoulaimlessly wandering the countryside.

 

You can hear that ghastly, mournful wail drifting in from the moors late at night, emitted by patients who now realize how much unnecessary suffering they have gone through by not going to their acupuncturist; wandering off into the hinterlands never to darken the door of polite society again with their monstrously disfigured face; permanently contorted in its visage of regret and mourning for a pain-free life lost.

 

Oh No… Halloween is Almost Here and Can Be Terrifying !!! Especially if You are Struggling with Scary Health Issues!   Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid!!!

Woe to those burdened and cursed with such horrific afflictions!

Because perhaps the scarier thing to realize is that right after Halloween comes the real big holiday season, with lots of parties, family get-togethers, plays, Christmas concerts and the like. And the idea of going to them can be scary if you aren’t up to handling it.

I hear stories all the time from my patients; “I wanted to go to my grandson’s school concert, but I couldn’t imagine sitting through that pain in my leg for a whole hour”. Or “With my sensitive stomach, there is no way I could travel to the Minneapolis to visit my daughter’s family for the holidays.”

Oh my, what a tragic shame! THE HORROR !!!

What is even more tragic is that many people simply accept their ill health as fate and decide there is nothing they can do about it. Ghouls Gore !!! With a few sessions of acupuncture, many of these socially debilitating health issues can easily be resolved!

So I would like to offer you some relief and assurance that this upcoming holiday season (the ones after Halloween) will be fantastic for both you and your family. And since acupuncture typically has such a long lasting effect, why not start now? Come in for a few sessions with me and we’ll get you fixed up in time for the next round of holidays.

• “Insomnia making it impossible to function, leaving you feeling like a Gelatinous Blob? Gone in 6 sessions!
• “Crippling back pain leaving you as miserable as Frankenstein’s Monster?” 6-12 sessions to complete relief.
• “Neck tension and headaches got you walking around stiff as a Mummy?” Usually 3-6 sessions and done.
• “Hot Flashes making you feel like a nuclear experiment gone wrong?” Relief is only 6-12 sessions away.
• “Anxiety and depression got you feeling like being a Troll under the bridge?” Start with 6 sessions.

You see; feeling better could be just a few days away. So now, I would like to formally invite you to visit the office this month for a session or two of acupuncture. For many, even a single session is enough to reduce stress, loosen up tight muscles, break up inflammation in creaky joints and in general; make you feel better! What’s better; if you bring in this letter, I’ll knock $5  bucks off your next visit (ends October 31^st). 

But many of you already know that sometimes healing takes time and you’ll need more than a single session. So, because of the tremendous response to a similar offer we had a few months ago, I would like to offer you two additional options.

 

• Our 3 session Mini Package for only $127 (you’ll save $14).
• Our 6 session Mega Pack of 6 sessions for a ridiculously low price of $242 (that saves you $40).

It’s hard to imagine how much of a savings that is. So compare that $242 to going to a MD and getting more MRI’s, X-Rays, Cortisone shots, Physical Therapy and prescriptions of drugs that have more ridiculous side effects than you can shake a stick at! Go ahead; take a moment and tally up the cost of all that in your head. NOW THAT’S SCARY!!

 

Beware… The Pagan Festival of Samhain Draws Nigh !!!

 

Of course, I want to encourage you to act quick; so you have to sign up by Halloween, otherwise the price goes back up to normal and the discounts go away. So Hurry…Call Me at Austin Acupuncture Clinic at 434-8700… Before the monsters catches up to you !!!……

…Because once you feel better, you may just notice that Halloween isn’t just about spooks and Scary monsters, but rather is equally about heroes and pixies and magical fairies and princesses!

Once the darkness of ill health has lifted, we can see all the light, wonderful things all around us.

So please, do consider coming in for at least one or two sessions this month. Not only will you be making yourself feel better, but you’ll be giving your loved ones a wonderful gift… which is ‘YOU’ in good health.

Best Wishes, Your good friend…

Jason –“Spooky”– Richard